सोमवार, दिसंबर 17, 2007

! Hunting !


Lalloo decides to go for hunting lion along with his other 2 friends.
The first friends hunts 1 lion.
Lalloo asks him “How did you got lion hunt”.
Friend replies “I saw tracks, followed tracks and shot a lion”.
Second friend also gets lion hunt.
Lalloo ask same question.
Friend replies “I saw tracks, followed tracks and shot a lion”.
Lalloo says OK I will go for lion hunt and get 2 lion hunts.
Lalloo returns with broken bones.
Friends ask Lalloo what happened
Lalloo say “I saw tracks, followed tracks but got hit by train”
प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

! Car Lights !


Lalloo's wife was driving a car with Lalloo sitting next to her. She suspects that cars left and right turn signals not working. So she stops the car on the side of the road and asks the Lalloo if he doesn't mind stepping out of the car to check the turn lights while she tests them. Lalloo steps out and stands in front of the car. Lalloo's wife turns on turn signal lights and ask him
"Abhi ye light chalu hai kya nahi bolo"
Lalloo responds "Chalu hai....Chalu nahi hai....Chalu hai.... Chalu nahi hai....Chalu hai....Chalu nahi hai…. "
प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

मंगलवार, नवंबर 13, 2007

!! Hum hai hindustani !!


Bengali
One Bengali = poet.
Two Bengalis = a film society.
Three Bengalis = political party.
Four Bengalis = two political parties.
More than four Bengali’s = Countrywide agitation to bring Ganguli into Indian Cricket Team.

Bihari
One Bihari = Laloo Prasad Yadav.
Two Biharis = booth-capturing squad.
Three Biharis = caste killing.
Four Biharis = entire literate population of Patna.
Punjabi
One Punjabi =100 kg hulk named Pinky.
Two Punjabis = Pinky with his bigger brother Twinky.
Three Punjabis = assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local McDonalds.
Four Punjabis = combined IQ equal to one.
Mallu
One Mallu = coconut stall.
Two Mallus = a boat race.
Three Mallus = Gulf job racket.
Four Mallus = oil slick.
UP Bhaiyya
One UP bhaiyya = a milkman.
Two UP bhaiyyas = halwai shop.
Three UP bhaiyyas = a fist-fight in the UP assembly.
Four UP bhaiyyas = mosque-destruction squad.
Gujju
One Gujju = share-broker in a Bombay train.
Two Gujjus = rummy game in a Bombay train.
Three Gujjus = Bombay’s noisiest restaurant.
Four Gujjus = stock market scam.
Andhraite
One Andhraite = chili farmer.
Two Andhraites = software company in New Jersey.
Three Andhraites = Naxalite outfit.
Four Andhraites = song-and-dance number in a Telugu movie.
Kashmiri
One Kashmiri = carpet salesman.
Two Kashmiris = carpet factory.
Three Kashmiris = terrorist outfit.
Four Kashmiris = shoot-at-sight order.
Tamil-Brahmin
One Tam-Brahm = priest at the Vardarajaperumal temple.
Two Tam-Brahms = maths tuition class.
Three Tam-Brahms = queue outside the U.S consulate at 4 a.m.
Four Tam-Brahms = Thyagaraja music festival in Santa Clara.
Bombayite
One Bombayite = footpath vada-pav stall.
Two Bombayites = film studio.
Three Bombayites = slum.
Four Bombayites = the number of people standing on your foot in the train at rush hour.
Sindhi
One Sindhi = currency racket.
Two Sindhis = papad factory.
Three Sindhis = duplicate goods shop in Ulhasnagar .
Four Sindhis = Hong Kong Retail Traders Association.
Marwari
One Marwari = the neighbourhood foodstuffs adulterator.
Two Marwaris = 50% of Calcutta.
Three Marwaris = finish off all Gujaratis & Sindhis.
Four Marwaris = threaten the Jews as a community.
प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

बुधवार, अक्तूबर 24, 2007

! Chitti Aayee Hai !


When Laloo went to prison, he told his wife Rabri,"When I come back I want all the mails that come while I am gone with the date they came on written on them in order.
"Rabri says, "Ok."
On his return, she hands him a bunch of letters and on each was written,"Aaj Aayee." (Came today)
प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

! Burial Gift !


Three kids walking by a lake see Laloo Yadav jogging. He passes them by and falls into the lake a few seconds later. So, they rush into the water and save him from drowning. Laloo thanks them.
Laloo: Anything you want shall be done.
First boy: I want to go to the Bihar Naval Academy.
Laloo: Then, I will make sure you get into the Naval Academy.
Then to second boy: What do you want?
Second boy: I want to go to USA.
Laloo: You will go to USA.
Third boy: I want to be buried in Central Cemetery.
Laloo: You are so young, why are you concerned about your death.
Third boy: Because my father will kill me when he finds out what I did today!

प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

शुक्रवार, सितंबर 14, 2007

! Apple !

Laloo ji class mein - madam meine abc yaad karli..
Madam -ok , to sunao

Laloo Ji - abcdefghijklemnopqrstuvwxyz.....
madam - arey aise nahi ....aise suna A for apple

Laloo Ji - ok madam....
A for apple.
B for bada apple.
C for chhota apple.
D for dusra apple.
E for ek aur apple.
F for fokat ka apple.
G for gol apple.
H for hazar apple
I for itney saarey apple?
J for jaao nahi khaani hai apple
K for kaise nahi khaayengey apple
L for lena padhega tumko apple
M for mujhe nahi chahiye itne apple
N for naa nahi kehtey kyunkey yeh hai apple
O for Oh to tumne khaa daale yeh saare apple
P for peth bhar khaao apple
Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple
R for roz agar khaao tum apple
S for sehetmand rahoge khaaogey agar tum apple
T for tumko nahi milengey itney achey apple
U for udhaar kii nahi hai yeh apple
V for very tasy hai yeh apple
W for waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se apple
X for X'mas mei bhii Hi! khana padenge apple
Y for youn na chehra phero dekhkey apple
Z for zaraasa aur khaalo apple aur...........



प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

शुक्रवार, अगस्त 31, 2007

!! Jack and Jill (remix) !!


Laloo Bhai bihari
Went up the pahari
To fetch a bail for court order
Laloo fell down
And lost his crown
But Rabri reigned the reafter.
प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

शुक्रवार, अगस्त 17, 2007

! Hum hai hindustani !


Bengali
One Bengali = poet.
Two Bengalis = a film society.
Three Bengalis = political party.
Four Bengalis = two political parties.
More than four Bengali’s = Countrywide agitation to bring Ganguli into Indian Cricket Team.

Bihari
One Bihari = Laloo Prasad Yadav.
Two Biharis = booth-capturing squad.
Three Biharis = caste killing.
Four Biharis = entire literate population of Patna.

Punjabi
One Punjabi =100 kg hulk named Pinky.
Two Punjabis = Pinky with his bigger brother Twinky.
Three Punjabis = assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local McDonalds.
Four Punjabis = combined IQ equal to one.

Mallu
One Mallu = coconut stall.
Two Mallus = a boat race.
Three Mallus = Gulf job racket.
Four Mallus = oil slick.
UP Bhaiyya
One UP bhaiyya = a milkman.
Two UP bhaiyyas = halwai shop.
Three UP bhaiyyas = a fist-fight in the UP assembly.
Four UP bhaiyyas = mosque-destruction squad.

Gujju
One Gujju = share-broker in a Bombay train.
Two Gujjus = rummy game in a Bombay train.
Three Gujjus = Bombay’s noisiest restaurant.
Four Gujjus = stock market scam.
Andhraite
One Andhraite = chili farmer.
Two Andhraites = software company in New Jersey.
Three Andhraites = Naxalite outfit.
Four Andhraites = song-and-dance number in a Telugu movie.
Kashmiri
One Kashmiri = carpet salesman.
Two Kashmiris = carpet factory.
Three Kashmiris = terrorist outfit.
Four Kashmiris = shoot-at-sight order.
Tamil-Brahmin
One Tam-Brahm = priest at the Vardarajaperumal temple.
Two Tam-Brahms = maths tuition class.
Three Tam-Brahms = queue outside the U.S consulate at 4 a.m.
Four Tam-Brahms = Thyagaraja music festival in Santa Clara.
Bombayite
One Bombayite = footpath vada-pav stall.
Two Bombayites = film studio.
Three Bombayites = slum.
Four Bombayites = the number of people standing on your foot in the train at rush hour.
Sindhi
One Sindhi = currency racket.
Two Sindhis = papad factory.
Three Sindhis = duplicate goods shop in Ulhasnagar .
Four Sindhis = Hong Kong Retail Traders Association.
Marwari
One Marwari = the neighbourhood foodstuffs adulterator.
Two Marwaris = 50% of Calcutta.
Three Marwaris = finish off all Gujaratis & Sindhis.
Four Marwaris = threaten the Jews as a community.
प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

शुक्रवार, अगस्त 03, 2007

!! Laloo poems... !!


Laloo to aisa beCHARA na tha..
Bin rabdi, malai uska gujara na tha..
Fir kyun kiya usne ghas-phus ka ghotala?
Jawab mila 'aur koi CHARA na tha.
'Dekho Dekho laloo aaya
kitni saari bhainsein laaya
kaali kaali bhainson se
kaala kaala note kamaaya
patna se le kar dilli tak
corruptionva ka jhanda laharaya
kursi ki taang toot gayi
par apni taang ko nahin hataaya
hum nahin to humaar rabri hi sahi
sarkar ko ghar ka vyapaar banaaya
Finally:
Har shaakh pe ullu baitha hai
unjaam-e-gulistaan kya hoga
barbaad gulistaan karne ko
ek hi LALOO kafi hai
Last but not least;
What will a 'bhains' say to laloo (Song Situation )'
Tune Mera Duth Piya Hai Tu Bilkul Mere Jaisa Hai.'
प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

गुरुवार, जुलाई 05, 2007

!! Suar... !!


Laloo Yadav's car is driving along a back country road on the way back to Patna , when all of a sudden a piglet jumps out in front of the car. The piglet dies on the spot. Laloo, upset, tells the chauffeur to go find the owner of the piglet so that he can pay the damages. The driver is gone for two hours and when he comes back, he has a bag full of money, and a wondering look on his face.Laloo wants to know what happened. The driver tells him
'Hum jab gaanv me pahuncha to dekha kuchh log ped ke niche baithe hain. Jub hum unko bataya ki kya hua hai, tab sare log jama ho gaye. Humko laga ki aaj to hamari pitayee hogee. Par hum dekha ki sare log paisa jama kar rahe hain. Hum socha ki ye sara piasa wo janvar ke malik ke liye hai. Par un logo ne saara paisa hamein de diya.' Laloo says 'Sasoor ka natee, Theek theek batao. Tum unko kya bola tha?'
The driver replies 'Hum kaha ki hum Laloo Yadav ka driver hoon aur hum sooar ka bachcha ko maar diya hoon ..'
प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

मंगलवार, जून 26, 2007

!! Billoo & Laloo !!


Gates : Namaskar! you must have heard of Windows.
Laloo : Oh yes! most govt. offices we have the single window clearance concept. Gates : At home have u installed Windows?
Laloo : I have removed all windows due to increased burgalaries in our house.
Gates(Confused): Then what is the system you operate on?
Laloo : OPERATION? Yes, I had a Hernia operation last month.
Gates: (System Crashes and Found Missing).
'Windows is restarting.Please wait.............'
प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

!! Tax Dues !!


A man is on his way home from work one afternoon in bihar. He's stopped in traffic and thinks,
"Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual we're not even moving."He notices a police officer walking down the highway in between the cars and he rolls down his window and says,
"Excuse me officer, what's the hold up?"
"Laloo just found out the verdict, and he's all depressed. he's lying down in the middle of the highway and he's threatening to douse himself in gasoline and light himself on fire. She just doesn't have Rs.85 Crores for the tax dues. I'm walking around taking up a collection for him
"The man says,"Oh really, how much have you got so far."
"So far....ten litres."
प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

!! Jack n Jill poem in laloo style !!


Jekwa n Jilwa gaye upar hilwa, paani bhari ka vaste.Jekwa gir gawa, uka khopdi phutt gawa n Jilwa aawat ludkan pura raste.
प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

शुक्रवार, मई 25, 2007

!! University final examination !!


Laloo ji is appearing for his University final examination.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window.
He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit.
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
"Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he says,? it says here,'Answer the following questions in brief'.
प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

!! Lie Detector !!


An Englishman, an American and a laloo ji are called upon to test a lie detector .
The Englishman says:"I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer".
BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.
"Ok", he says, "10 bottles".
And the machine is silent.
The American says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers".BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.
प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

!! Regular glasses !!


A policeman was testing Laloo Ji, Manmohan Ji and Atal Ji who were training to become detectives.
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows Manmohan Ji a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
Manmohan Ji answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile.
"Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at Atal Ji and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
" Atal Ji smiles and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds,
"What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?
"Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to Laloo Ji and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." Laloo Ji looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that." He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contactlenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy," Laloo Ji replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

गुरुवार, अप्रैल 26, 2007

!! Laloo's praise !!


They have Hawala , We have Gwala,
They have Hulla-Balloo , We have Laloo,
They have a Pouting P.M. , We have a Shouting C.M.,
They have a Beta , We have a Saala.
प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

!! Stupidest man in Bihar !!


Mr . Laloo Prasad Yadav was sitting with his Ministers examining mail . Suddenly Mr. Laloo cried out : ' Look at this letter ! It is addressed to the stupidest man in Bihar '. His ministers tried to calm him by saying : How dare a man address such a letter to you ? '.
Mr. Laloo replied sadly : This does not bother me, but why did the postman deliver it at the right address?'
प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

मंगलवार, अप्रैल 03, 2007

! Laloo's Kids !

According to Secret Intelligence reports Laloo has 38 kids. When contacted by this reporter, Laloo said ' BJP jhoot kahti hai, hamre 9 bchche hai. kaho to gin ke bataaon'. When provoked to count his children Laloo counts, 'Ek, Do, teen, char, paanch, che, saat, aath, nau. Bas iske aage ki ginti hame nahi aati'.
प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

मंगलवार, मार्च 27, 2007

!! Laloo visits the Mental hospital !!


When Laloo was on a visit to Ranchi mental Hospital, one patient laughed on the face of Laloo. Laloo laughed and replied 'I am the Chief Minister' then Patient replied 'You will get well soon because earlier I also used to say that I am the Chief Minister'.
प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

!! Common Sense !!


Once Laloo Prasad was in Kolkata to meet Jyoti Basu. At the meeting, Laloo mentioned that he was impressed how Jyoti babu could manage to have such a long innings. He was a great example for the Yadav family to follow. Laloo wanted to know what was Jyoti babu's secret. To this Jyoti Basu replied 'My dear, it is simple. I manage everything by applying common sense and I gather such ministers around me who do the same. Do you want to see how it works?' Laloo agreed readily. Jyoti Basu picked up the telephone and called Buddhadev Bhattacharya and said 'I have a question for you and need an immediate answer. Suppose your parents have an issue which is neither your sister nor your brother - who is it?' Buddhadev replied 'Comradeda, this is really simple - its me!'
Laloo was very impressed. Returning to Patna he wanted to check on his people so he posed the question to Rabri Devi. She thought and thought but had no answer. Finally she called Sadhu Yadav and posed the question to him. Sadhu also could not find an answer so he called up Upen Biswas and asked him for the correct answer mentioning that he had done a lot of harm to the Yadav family , now atleast he could do one good thing. Biswas heard the question and promptly replied 'Its me'. The answer was relayed to Rabri Devi who dutifully told her husband that the correct answer to the question was 'Upen Biswas'. Hearing this Laloo got angry and said 'You fool, the correct answer is Buddhadev Bhattacharya'!!
प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

!! Laloo's wish !!


Rabri goes to Delhi to attend a 1-week session for Chief Ministers.
Laloo escorts her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
She answers: 'Lalooji, what would you like me to bring for you?
Laloo laughs and says: 'Dilli di kudi (A Delhi girl)!
Rabri kept quiet and left. A week later Laloo meets her up at the airport and asks:
'So Rabriji, how was the trip?''Very good, thank you''And, what happened to my present?''Which present?''What I asked for.... Dilli di kudi?''Oh, that? Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait a few months to see if it is a girl!!! '
प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

सोमवार, फ़रवरी 26, 2007

!! Newsweek !!

Laloo tries to console the widow of a Police Constable who has been killed by a kidnap gang.
Laloo: 'hamein bahut dukh hai aapke patidev ki maut ka. par aap chinta nahin kariyega. NEWSWEEK saare dukhon ko door kar deta hai.'
The widow looks at him perplexed: An aide whispers to Laloo: 'Sir, aapka matlab hai, Time, not Newsweek.'
Laloo: 'arre bhaiya, TIME ho ya NEWSWEEK, koi farak padta hai ka
प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

मंगलवार, फ़रवरी 13, 2007

!! Letter writing !!

Lalloo was about to write a letter to Rabri. He remembers that last time she was reading his previous lettervery very slowly as she can not read fast.So, Lalloo thinks for a while and start writing with the first line ‘My Dear Rabri, I know you can not read fast. Don't worry. I will make it easy for you, I am writing this letter very very slowly.'
प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

!! On Padyatra !!

Lalloo was doing ‘Padyatra’ through the villages in Bihar during election time. He felt thirsty and decided to ask at a hut for some water.Lady from hut opens the doors and get angry to see Lalloo but without showing her anger she invites him in with a smile. She gives him water in bowl.There was a one dog moving around, giving Lalloo a great deal of attention. Lalloo comments "What a nice dog, I had never seen such a friendly dog".Lady replies "Ah, he's not that friendly. That's his bowl you are using."
प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

शुक्रवार, जनवरी 12, 2007

God is crying!


Saddam Hussain visits God and asks him: ' God when shall I see the defeat of Bill Clinton.'God replies: ' Son, you will not see it in your lifetime.'Hearing this, Saddam Hussain starts crying and goes away.
Gen Parvez Musharaff visits God and asks him: ' God when shall I see the capture of Kashmir by Pakistan.'God replies: ' Son, you will not see it in your lifetime.'Hearing this, Gen Parvez Musharaff starts crying and goes away.
Laaloo Yadav visits God and asks him: ' God when shall I see Bihar becoming a prosperous and happy state.'Hearing this, God starts crying.
Laaloo is astounded and asks: ' God, why are you crying ? 'God replies: ' Son, I will not see it in my lifetime '

प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

शुक्रवार, जनवरी 05, 2007

Laloo Teaches Definitions of Marriage via Film Names

Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya
Shaadi ke baad - Ye Maine Kya Kiya?
Shaadi ke pehle - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Kuch Nahi Hota Ha
Shaadi ke pehle - Dil To Pagal Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Dil To Pagal Tha
Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye
Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye
Shaadi ke pehle - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge
Shaadi ke baad - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge
Shaadi ke pehle - Chandramukhi
Shaadi ke baad - Jwaalamukhi
Shaadi ke pehle - Kuwara Baap
Shaadi ke baad - Bechara Baap
Shaadi ke pehle - Titanic
Shaadi ke baad - Mortgage
Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Aapke Hai Koun?
Shaadi ke baad - Barbadi Ka Reason
Shaadi ke pehle - Aao Pyar Karen
Shaadi ke baad - Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen?
Shaadi ke pehle - chal chayya chayya ……
Shaadi ke baad - ah aab laut chale ……..
Shaadi ke pehle- hum aapke dil main rehte hain
Shaadi ke baad - hum apke ghar main rehte hain
Shaadi ke pehle - arzoo
Shaadi ke baad - asoo
Shaadi ke pehle - soldier
Shaadi ke baad - major sahib
Shaadi ke pehle - pyaar hona hi tha
Shaadi ke baad - meri saath esa kyu hua
Shaadi ke pehle - jeevan saathi
Shaadi ke baad - bachcho ke baad, bangaye hathi
Shaadi ke pehle - deewana
Shaadi ke baad - anjaam
Shaadi ke pehle - laila majnoo
Shaadi ke baad - dono majnoon
Shaadi ke pehle - taj mahal
Shaadi ke baad - sadak
Shaadi ke pehle - tammana
Shaadi ke baad - tamasha

प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

How to catch a lion


Newton’s Method:

Let, the lion catch you.For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.Implies you caught lion.

Einstein Method:

Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon.Now you can trap it easily.

Software Engineer Method:

Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.

Laloo Yadav Method:

Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion .

Rajnikanth Method :

Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.

Jayalalitha Method:

Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it’s sleeping !

Mani Rathnam Method (director):

Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted.Keep murmuring something in its ears.The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.

Karan Johar Method (director):

Send a lioness into the forest.Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness.But 2nd lioness loves both lions.Now send another lioness (third) into the forest.You don’t understand right… ok….read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!

Yash Chopra method (director):

Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location.

Govinda method:

Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.

Menaka Gandhi method:

Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.

George Bush method:

Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!

Ravi Shastri method:

Ask the lion to bowl at u.U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run Lion tired and surrenders.
प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

गुरुवार, जनवरी 04, 2007

!! Laloo's clock?" !!

Rabri Devi died and went to heaven (Don't Laugh). As she stood in front of yamraj , she saw a huge wall of clocks behind. She asked, "What are all those clocks?"
Yamraj answered, "Those are Lie Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move." "Oh,"
said Rabri, "Who's clock is that? "That's Gautam Buddha's. The hands have never moved indicating that he never told a lie. "And whose clock is that? "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us that Abraham only told 2 lies in his entire life."
Rabri asked, "Where's my Laloo's clock?" Laloo"s clock is in my office", replied yamraj, "I'm using it as a ceiling fan.
प्रस्तुतकर्ता पर कोई टिप्पणी नहीं:

!! Laloo Kids !!

A TV journalist asks Lalooji "How come u have 9 children ??"
Lalooji replies "Woh kya hai ki main rubber se jyada rabri ko use kiya hoon"
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